Twenty Four Seven

"South of Town, 2am"

oil on canvas

12" x 24"

I have a show up at the Shawnee Theatre in Bloomfield, Indiana.  If you want to go see a good performance and walk past a few paintings on your way in and out, stop in this weekend.  The show features local scenes, including the one above...as you leave the parking lot, look to your left. 

#Believe Me

#Believe Me

oil on canvas

16" x 48"

I don't tweet.  But if I did, I know what I'd do with this painting.  Help yourself.

Still Afloat

"Makahmaid"

oil on canvas

12" x 12"

This is a treaty boat on the Makah Reservation in Neah Bay, the Olympic Peninsula, Washington.  The boats docked at Neah Bay look like they could sink at any moment, but evidently, they're all still being used for fishing.  The "Makahmaid" is the oldest, and among the only surviving, fishing boats given to the Makah tribe in the 1850's in exchange for almost all of their land.  So, if you visit the northwestern-most place in the lower 48, keep your eye out for the friendly fisherman in the floating trash can who's milking the most out of a 160-year-old rotten deal.  Per usual, I think there might be some type of irony at play that I've yet to make sense of.

See that shadow on the back of the boat?  That's this painting, my upper torso, and my big head with a wide brimmed hat.  How about that...

Sometimes I Sometimes

For anyone out there that might actually like to hear me talk about painting...

Here's what two hours on a Saturday afternoon looks like.  I painted these pictures while passing the time between dips in the swimming pool.  They aren't much, but these are the types of paintings I love doing...I'm sentimental some of the time.  I'm also pretty sporadic in my productivity.  There are times when I really enjoy coming home and working with some type of regularity.  Those times come in between longer stints of relative laxness.  I've got some shows coming up, which means I'll be painting more than usual, and I'm looking forward to it.  I'm also looking forward to not painting for a while after the pictures are delivered.  What will I do?  Practice my free throws and ball handling, most likely. 

Sometime in the next few weeks, few months, or few years, I'll be updating my website a bit.  That means some of the paintings featured online will be replaced with newer work.  I'm not a salesman, but some of you might be interested in perusing www.legrandartstudio.com for some pictures, as they'll be more difficult to track down after they leave the website.  Find something you like, get in touch via wyattlegrand@gmail.com, and I'll get back to you with some fine prices.  

You know, a $50 shirt at Banana Republic is probably worth every bit of that $50.  While it's displayed on the mannequin in the window, $50 is a bargain, because you know if you don't buy it, someone else will.  Nothing's worse that seeing somebody in the super trendy shirt that should've been yours.  Usually, all the shirts in the window sell out.  Now, if for some odd reason, one of the window shirts doesn't sell, you'll probably find it a couple weeks later with a 25% off tag on a hanger behind something trendier.  And what if nobody happens to stumble across that incredible deal?  Well, a week later, you can most likely walk to the very back of the store and find the shirt mixed in with dozens of other post-mannequin worn masterpieces with a bright orange $15 sticker on the sleeve.  And every once in a while, because of some fluke in the taste of the shirt-wearing majority, a truly incredible shirt will slip through the consumer cracks and find itself at the Banana Republic Outlet.  Like a needle in a stack of dirty laundry, your new favorite shirt is waiting for you, just a few weeks after it's reveal as the hippest of hip...all you have to do is search a little and visit the fitting room.  When all is said and done, you buy a $50 shirt for ten bucks.  Banana Republic won't tell your friends you got a steal of a deal.  Your friends will be envious of your fashion sensibility.  You win.  And if your tastes in collared, button-downs changes, or your gut grows faster than the color fades, you can always sell it to Plato's Closet for a five dollar bill.

Artists don't bargain.  Artwork is worth whatever an artist says it's worth.  The value of a piece of art, well, that's determined by something else entirely, isn't it?  Luckily for me, I just paint pictures and let painted picture collectors figure everything out for me.  The back of the store is at www.legrandartstudio.com.  Please, scan your items at wyattlegrand@gmail.com.  Eat your heart out, Eric Rhoads.

FYI

I didn't write this, but thought I should share it.  I love a good salad and this really hit home for me.  At first, I didn't want to take him seriously, but I checked his Twitter and he really does have a lot of followers.  


People,

Yesterday, I consumed a cobb salad at my favorite local restaurant.  The salad was alright...just okay, really.  It was not a great salad.  The lady at the counter promised me it was a great salad.  We have been wronged, people. 

I don't like their cobb salads at all, actually...never did.  Their food is disgusting, unpalatable, disgusting and frankly, not fit for human consumption.  In fact, my dog eats better food.  They're very ugly people, really.  Believe me, I could prepare a better meal for you.  My cobb salad would be so much better, it would get so much better reviews, you wouldn't believe it.  Believe me, I'm a smart guy, and the salads at this restaurant have awful reviews.  It's a pity, really.  All of their food comes from China actually...I know it.  And I hate that.  I love Chinese people.  The real problem here, people, is the woman that served me my salad.  The people at this restaurant really should look into getting some makeup or something.  Believe me....I didn't even eat the salad because this woman was so ugly.  A disgusting beast.  But really, I love women and I'm so good to them.  I've got great respect for them and you know what?  They like me.  Why wouldn't they like me?  I'm a great guy, actually.  You know, we should board-up that restaurant so they can't serve us their food anymore.  We can make our own salads anyway, people.  I'm planning on building the most bestest, incredible, biggest phenomenal cobb salad restaurant you've ever seen.  Believe me...it's going to be the best.  And when you eat my salad you'll be able to tell your loved ones that they can sleep comfortably, because I was right.  Believe me, I'm not a dumb guy, and I absolutely cherish all women and I think they're great, but that salad was horrible.  Did you know the Chinese created global warming to make manufacturing in the U.S. unable to compete?  You really should try my salad, it's far better than anything else you've had, believe me.  And you know what, people, some people think I'm really smart.  But you know what?  Guess what?  Some people think I'm really, really, really smart.  

I went ahead and tweeted a video of me at the batting cages as a young man.  I had my people edit it.  My people are the best people out there.  They replaced the baseballs with cobb salads from this disgusting restaurant.  Every time the machine throws a ball, I hit the salad and it goes everywhere.  I hit at least 100 salads.  Believe me, I know how to play baseball.  I used to be the best baseball player I know.  I am sure that everyone will love my video because of how disgusting those salads were and how good I hit them.  It will get way more hits on Twitter.  I have more followers on Twitter than Beyonce.  Believe me, I'm really popular on Twitter.  

- @Richard P. Fumple

30 Days in a Van

So, I didn't actually quit painting, or golfing.  I've never been golfing.  I'd like to go golfing, but I have no idea how that works.  I can mini-putt with the best of them though...

I spent the last month on a roadtrip with a friend of mine.  It was a "seat of the pants" experience that will go down in history as one of the wildest adventures two picture painters from Indiana ever lived through.  I might be exaggerating, but I promise, not by much.  We fought off wild animals, sampled the finest gas station cuisine, exchanged gifts with ex-serial killers, barely escaped incarceration at customs, and drove a broken van 12,000 miles with no air conditioning.  We traveled through 11 states, 2 provinces, and 1 territory in search of subject matter.  We painted well over 100 pictures of mountains, glaciers, waterfalls, waves, forests, old boats, old cars, trashcans, campsites, statues, and volcanic activity.  Holy moly, it was a trip.  

I could go on and on, but I won't.  I'll let the stories come about as they may...I'll keep the rest for myself.  But if you're curious, here's an abbreviated list of the places we traveled to and through...

Badlands National Park, Black Hills National Forest, Mount Rushmore, The Crazy Horse Monument, Thunder Basin National Grassland, Boysen State Park, Shoshone National Forest, Jackson Hole, Grand Teton National Park, Yellowstone National Park, Custer Gallatin National Forest, Flathead National Forest, Blackfeet Indiana Reservation, Glacier National Park, Bow Valley Provincial Park, Banff National Park, Lake Louise, Jasper National Park, Columbia Icefields, BC Highway 37 and the Alaskan Highway, The Yukon, Johnson's Crossing, Kuane National Park, Wrangell-St. Elias National Park, Chugach State Park and National Forest, Homer, Denali National Park, Anchorage, Hell's Gate, Port Angeles, Olympic National Park, Neah Bay and the Makah Indian Reservation, Ruby Beach, Mt. Ranier National Park, Yakama Indian Reservation, Big Hat State Park, Sprague, C'oeur d'Alene and Lolo National Forests, the Lucky Friday Silver Mine, and a bunch of stuff in between. 

If you make it to the end of the road in Homer, Alaska, look for our dollar bill at the Salty Dawg.  

Par

That's it.  I'm done.  I've swung my last nine iron.  I quit.  
Don't tell anyone.

Where are my brushes?  I'm going painting.