"Trapped"
oil on canvas
24" x 24"
I won't go into too many details, but there are a few people who passionately dislike my paintings of dead mice. On more than one occasion, they have gone out of their way to convey their disgust to me. Oh well, I guess. I haven't bothered to entertain them, as I'm sure nothing I can say could convince them there's anything more, or much less, to this image than they've already decided for themselves. It's really pretty simple...I kill a mouse and I paint the mouse I killed. My motivation doesn't matter and there's no sense in me blabbing on about my concept or lack thereof, but I do confess...I killed the mouse.
But you know...this isn't actually a dead mouse anyway, it's a painting of a dead mouse. If I didn't already own up to it, who's to say I didn't make it all up? And if I did make it up, what's the big deal? Is this more violent than the reality television we watch on the evening "news"? If I killed a mouse, placed it behind an antique vase filled with beautiful flowers, and painted all of that pretty stuff hiding the ugly, dead thing behind it, did I do anything different? Are people disgusted because they assume I killed an innocent animal or because I "made them look" at something they refuse to see? Is painting a dead mouse different than mounting a deer's head? Is painting a dead mouse different than painting a portrait of your dead grandparents? Is it different than painting the Crucifixion of Jesus? Is it more or less tragic?
I'm not going to pretend that these dead mouse paintings aren't somewhat confrontational, and I'll admit, I struggle every time I make one. Killing is killing and I take no pride in being an exterminator. But let's get real...if I would've simply taken a photo of the poor little guy I doubt anyone would care one way or the other. And while pissing people off isn't really a goal of my painting process, which is evidently a large part of this conundrum, I'll gladly choose it over making crappy renditions of "beautiful" subjects that people can stare at blankly and without emotion.
Sorry Not Sorry
If I kick the bucket tomorrow, please, invite everyone over for one last portrait.
